"I would be retaliating to you"

I got onto a list of spam dentistry journals because of one paper not on dentistry.  The journals must belong to a company with a broader taste in spam, as I've been getting a wider range of requests lately.

This one, from good old Iris Publishers on 23 July, rather pushily requires my intervention (btw, I am not a biostatistician):

Dear Dr. Susan,

Greeting from Iris Publishers!

It’s my pleasure to communicate with esteemed person like you. Well, I am planning to release an inaugural issue in Annals of Biostatistics & Biometric Applications by the end of this month. In this instance we require your intervention by submitting your research work or any type of the article towards our journal.

Online Submission URL
[REDACTED TO AVOID ADVERTISING FOR THEM]

Hope you understand our intend and wish to have your earliest acknowledgement.
Await your hopeful submission.

Regards,
Sarah Clark

Then there’s one from our old friend Juniper, on 31 July, which “anticipates my promising response”, and again claims I am an eminent manuscript (btw, I am neither an orthopaedic nor orthoplastic surgeon; but I must say I rather like the acronym of this one):

Dear Dr. S Stepney,

Hope this mail finds you good spirits.

Can we have your article for successful release of Volume 1 Issue 5 in our Journal?
In fact, we need one article to accomplish the Issue July; we hope that the single manuscript should be yours. If this is a short notice please do send 2-pag opinion/mini review/case report, we hope 2-page article isn’t time taken for eminent people like you.

Your trust in my efforts is the highest form of our motivation, I believe in you that you are eminent manuscript brings out the best citation to our Journal.

Anticipate for your promising response.

Best Regards
Cindy Decker
Juniper Online Journal of Orthopaedic & Orthoplastic Surgery (JOJOOS)
For possible submission visit
[REDACTED]

Note: We also welcome e-Books, Thesis & Video articles

The next one, which arrived on 16 August, can’t even be bothered to put the journal in the email body or subject, only the email address.  The Global Journal of Archaeology & Anthropology (presumably “Global” sounds so more sophisticated than the more traditional “International”?), from Juniper, speaks thus (btw, I am neither an archaeologist nor an anthropologist):

Dear Dr. Professor,

Hope you are doing well.

We are in shortfall of one article for successful release of Volume 6 Issue 1. Is it possible for you to support us with your 2-page opinion or mini review for this issue?

We are confident that you are always will be there to support us.

We desire to receive your manuscript by the end of August.

Await your positive response.

Regards,
Susan Lara

Although they claim they are “confident”, I kind of get the feeling they’re not even really trying with that one.

This morning I got a different sort of invitation (btw, I am not a physical chemist):

Good day Dear Dr. Susan Stepney,

I hope this message finds you well.

I'm privileged to invite you to be a part of an international conference on Physical Chemistry 2018, an independently organized by EuroSciCon. Which is going to take place in Amsterdam, the Netherlands from October 08-09, 2018 which incorporates incite Keynote Presentation, Oral talks, Poster Presentations, ePoster Presentations, and Exhibitions. The main theme of the conference is “Challenging advanced prospect & forefront innovations in Physical Chemistry’”.

For more information, please follow: physicalchemistry[dot]euroscicon[dot]com

Kindly contact us for any sort of further assistance. I would be retaliating to you once I receive a response from your end.

Regards
Alice Stephen | Meeting Producer

This sounds so not like any invitation I’ve ever had to a genuine conference.  I cautiously went to the indicated website (I just love the spam protection in the URL) out of some ghastly sense of curiosity, and there is a site there, which looks like something from GeoCities, with a bunch of squashed photos of “performers”(!) and other gumpf.  I daren’t contact them as requested, though, as I don’t want Alice retaliating to me!

My response to all these is to continue to name and shame, and to mock.  For the record, here’s a (growing) list of the spam-so-far (the links go to my previous blog posts where I reproduce the emails, NOT to the “journals”, I hasten to add!):

• Global Journal of Archaeology & Anthropology
• Juniper Online Journal of Orthopaedic & Orthoplastic Surgery (JOJOOS)
• Annals of Biostatistics & Biometric Applications
• Journal of Otolaryngology and Rhinology (JOR)
• Anatomy Physiology & Biochemistry International Journal (APBIJ)
• AS Dental Sciences
• Significances of Bioengineering & Biosciences (SBB)
• Biomedical Journal of Scientific & Technical Research (BJSTR) 
• Current Trends in Biomedical Engineering & Biosciences
• Interventions in Pediatric Dentistry (IPDOAJ)
• Modern Approaches in Dentistry and Oral Health Care (MADOHC)
• Orthoplastic Surgery & Orthopedic Care International Journal
• World Congress on Dental and Oral Health, Las Vegas